To Do It Myself, or Not

One of the reasons Jake and I decided to put off our ceremony for so long was that we wanted to have the money to be able to have the awesome swanky wedding that we both really wanted.

Or rather, since weddings are for girls, the awesome swanky wedding that I really wanted.

I rarely allow myself to indulge when it comes to... well, everything. I try to keep it cheap but not sleazy. Our Yellowstone vacation this summer is probably going to involve some less-than-five-star accommodations, but we aren't going to be sleeping with cock-a-roaches or anything like that. That's how I operate: cheap but not cheap.

Well, for my wedding, I want an insanely fancy affair. Not fancy, as in, uptight super-formal wedding. I mean fancy like, ceremony and reception at a crazy-nice venue, the yummiest food in the area, fantastic flowers, etc. And all that is going to be quite expensive.

I think I've finally decided that I want the wedding to be on Key West. I'm trying to keep my guests in mind. While Key Largo has better diving, Key West has better dry-land attractions for those guests who can't dive. And in my never ending quest to be the Antibridezilla, I want my guests to be able to enjoy my wedding weekend as much as I'm going to.

I'm lazy, though. I'm sure I could do all the research and legwork needed in order to sniff out the perfect place for the wedding, but I don't want to. So I'm thinking about hiring a planner to do all that junk for me.

I was thinking of this planner. They seem legit. I have a bit of time to decide, though, so if they're still around in 4 years, they just might hear from me.

Bridesmaid Dresses for Bridesmaids That I May or May Not Even Have

I like shopping. I'm not super girly or a shopaholic by any means, but I still enjoy shopping, especially Interwebs shopping. Which is why I've been flipping through digital bridesmaid dress catalogues with zeal - even though I may not even have bridesmaids. Some of them are so pretty! Here are a few of my favity-faves.

I think the top is my favorite, but the bottom would be better for any bridesmaid(s) that wanted to wear a bra. Being a busty gal myself, I know what an asspain it can be to try to wear strapless stuff.

Bridezilla Watch, Episode One: Familial Bandits

OK this isn't really about a Bridezilla, but when I read it, it was so horrible that I had to post it here!

The following story is from www.etiquettehell.com, listed as WickedWitches1005-07:

My very best friend had planned a modest yet tasteful wedding and reception. The ceremony was beautiful, the Bride was beautiful, and the reception pavilion was beautiful. The bride had invited her biological mother and her 2 step-sisters that she hadn’t seen in 10 plus years.  

The problem you ask? Towards the end of the night, we began to fill the limo with the gifts, cards, money from dollar dance, etc. As I was very intoxicated and in charge of this endeavor, I had asked the limo driver, who is also a good friend, to assist me with getting everything into the limo. (Note: I couldn’t climb in and out in my dress!!).  

On one of my last trips, I notice that a very special handmade gift bag was not on the seat where I had left it. I ask the driver about this. He said that bio-mom and step-sis wanted to see the pictures that were on the bag. Okay, no big deal. 

We then attempt to locate them, when in the pit of my stomach I get this horrible feeling. Frantically we search, but to no avail. They seem to have disappeared, all three of them. We find the bride; I try my best to explain what we think may have occurred without naming names, it is her mom after all, and continue to search for the bag. By the time everyone is ready to leave, the bride and I are in tears. She had attempted to make contact with bio-mom and was threatened with physical harm if she tried to contact them again. 

Long story short, I felt extremely guilty, the bride was heartbroken, not only over the money that was stolen but over the fact that she wouldn’t be able to properly thank everyone for their gifts, let alone the gorgeous bag that was made for her, and the groom was steaming mad that someone, especially family, would do this to someone on there wedding day. 

It was very sad, but in the end it all worked out. Everyone that had given checks or gift cards, cancelled them, and everyone else was very understanding of the situation. 

This was 3 years ago, and bride has yet to hear from bio-mom or her step-sisters. The nerve of some people.

Holy shit, dude! Can you imagine being robbed by your family at your own wedding?  At least those are three birthday cards you don't have to worry about every year.

The Half-Marathon of Doom

Jake and I signed up for a half-marathon in September. We're going to start training once the snow goes away. Is this the perfect way to get into awesome shape for my eventual wedding? Maybe.

But more importantly, it's a way for me to gauge exactly how in-shape I can get post-baby. I've heard that sometimes, your baby-belly will stick around even when you've done everything to lose it. Training for a half-marathon will be a good way to get rid of my baby-flub... if I can.

Bridezilla Watch

Bride

- noun

A newly married woman or a woman about to be married.

Godzilla

- noun

An aquatic Japanese movie monster with atomic breath and ninja skills.

Bridezilla

- noun

A neologistic portmanteau of "bride" and "Godzilla;"

a woman in the process of planning a wedding

who acts like a total bitch to everyone within striking distance.

Beware of her atomic breath; however, most Bridezillas

lack ninja skills.

I'm Not As Original As I Thought I Was

My favorite flower is the bird of paradise (and for those who care, my least favorite is the red long-stemmed rose. I like tea roses just fine), so the bird of paradise is kind of the theme for the wedding.

If you do a Google search for bird of paradise wedding, there are countless hits and pictures. There are special bird of paradise invitations and thank-you cards (which are mostly pretty tacky IMO).

Kinda tacky.

There are bird of paradise bouquets and hairpieces and table decorations and candles and frickin' everything. It kind of upsets me, because I hate doing things that everyone else is doing, and apparently the bird of paradise is something that everyone else is doing.

I don't care, though. Not this time. I love that flower, dammit, and I'm going to have it at my wedding. Maybe it won't permeate every fold and fiber associated with the wedding, but it will definitely be prominent. And what's wrong with that? My wedding will be unique in other ways.

But I might steal these ideas anyway...

If You Don't Like It, Suck It!

I have found my cake!

Kind of.

It's a combination between this

and this

I like the second cake's flower accouterments better than the first. However, I do love cupcakes.

So how about uhhh... the top of the cupcake mountain will be crowned with the second cake, and the cupcakes themselves will have flowers on them that match the ones on the cake proper.

I'm a goddamn genius.

Another Date Change!

I spent the morning reading several websites dedicated to bridezillas. Mostly, these sites are just post after post of bridesmaids, friends, or families of bridezillas dishing about all the awful things these total bitches did to everyone with the justification of "it's my wedding!"

More on what I think about bridezillas later...

Anyway, a lot of the complaints of these women re: the bridezillas have to do with the location and timing of the wedding. The wedding was too far from where everyone lived, or it was on a weekday, or it was on a Saturday but everyone had to be there on Thursday thus needing to take days off of work, etc...

I don't want to be like one of those twats. My first wedding was very low-key and relaxed and fun and awesome (and I wasn't a bridezilla, not even one bit), and I would like my second one to be in the same spirit.

February 1st doesn't fall on or anywhere near a long weekend. Boo hamburgers. :( I'm going to be perusing the calendar, trying to find a better date. President's Day Weekend is the nearest to Feb 1st, so we might go with that one. But we'll see. I'll ask Jake what he thinks. He'll probably say he doesn't care. Thpptt. :P

Date Change!

OK, I know I said 2014 before, but Jake and I talked about it and we decided 2015 is a better bet.

Here's why:

We want to have another kid. Jake and I both had siblings, and even though they were a pain in the ass when we were younger, we're both really glad we have them as adults. Also, there have been psychological studies done that suggest children with siblings grow into more rounded adults who are better prepared to deal with stress, frustration, and failure. I don't want Camille to be one of those assholes who I want to bludgeon with a stapler because they don't understand that ubercompetetiveness is uncool, so a little brother or sister for her is on the horizon.

More like over the horizon. The tribulations of childbirth are still too fresh in my mind for me to be chomping at the baby bit just yet.

Jake has been invited to the engineering Master's program at the U, and he's probably going to take it. That means he won't graduate now until May 2013. Camille was born the Sunday before midterms, and he was essentially walking around half asleep and is amazed that he passed his tests. He doesn't want to have to deal with that again, so we agreed our second child should be born during or after May 2013.

I vote after. My birthday is in May and I don't want baby#2 to usurp my birthday festivities! I'm selfish.

Camille will be 2 in September 2012, so she'll be 2 1/2 or so when her little bro/sis comes along. That's about how old I was when my sister was born. It's a goodly amount of time to have between two kids, IMO.

So, baby in May/June 2013 would mean I'd have less than a year to get into tropical beach wedding shape. I'm not a celebrity with personal trainers and chefs and stuff, so I don't think that goal would be met. I plan on nursing Camille for at least a year, and the same goes for the second baby. That means if we had the wedding in Feb 2014, I'd probably still be nursing.

:(

I don't want to have to worry about leaky boobs or rushing off to feed the baby during my wedding and/or reception. In 2015, there's no way either kid is going to still be nursing. That means I won't have to worry about the stuff stated above, AND also that my boobs will be normal-sized again. Hooray!

Feb 1st falls on a Sunday in 2015. It's still a weekend, albeit not as good as Saturday. Oh well. It will still rock!

A Wedding Party Ponderance

Jake and I have both been married before.

I'm a very static person when it comes to friends. I don't collect new friends willy-nilly, so all of the people who I'd want as a bridesmaid this time around are the same people as last time. Is that bad luck? Or bad form? Or bad... anything?

Do I even need bridesmaids? I was thinking maybe we'd both just have the Maid of Honor and Best Man, and that's it. I mean, I expect less than 25 people to be there. Family and close friends, really. I dunno, it might spin out of control and we might end up with uhhh... 50. I'm of the opinion that if 50 (or 60, or 100, etc) people want to travel down to the tropics to see me and Jake get hitched for reals, then I will make accommodations for those 50 (or 60, or 100, and so on) people.

I haven't asked Jake about this yet. His answer will probably be, "I don't care."

Here, wait, he's right here. Let me test my hypothesis.

OK, he said, "Ionno." Same thing.

Weddings are for Girls

I'm making an assumption here, but I'm fairly sure it's accurate.

99% of weddings are machinations of the bride. The groom might choose the groom's cake and perhaps his style of tux, but probably not.

I asked Jake if he had any preferences for the wedding.

"Nope."

-_-

His only suggestion was that instead of having the ceremony in Key Largo like I want, we could have it in Curacao so more of his work friends could come (possibly). I'd rather have the ceremony in the United States to make it easier for our family to attend, and we can have our honeymoon on a tropical island in the Caribbean. I don't want to force our family and friends to renew their passports just to come to our casual little wedding.

Premature?

As Eddie Izzard would say, "No, not immature. Very mature."

Jake and I got married with no pomp nor any circumstance. More about that in the About tab. Anyway, we said we'd have a real wedding later, when we had the money and time to have the wedding we really want.

On February 1st, we'll celebrate our first anniversary, and that approaching date has got me thinking about our future for realsies wedding. I figure it can't hurt to start planning early, so here I go. Planning!